Early Morning Scribblings: Fly Free
I want to share these early morning scribblings and prayers in hopes they will bring the freedom to your heart that God has brought to mine! I pray you will find the courage to identify the things that have clipped your wings. I pray you will FLY FREE!
The pain lingers in my shoulder with the simplest movement to reach for something. My immediate thought, “I shouldn’t have reached!”
But the truth is ~ I was using my arm, my shoulder for the very things that it was made to do: REACH, STRETCH, MOVE!
These are things I have done all my life without thought, without pain. Now I am very aware of every movement…and it hurts!
I try to protect it, to prevent the pain. It feels as if I have a broken wing.
I am a one-winged bird no longer free to fly.
I realize the pain in my shoulder stretches the muscle of my heart. It stirs my fear of growing older, of not being able to accomplish the things I feel called to do. It slows me down. I am grounded with the frustration of knowing I was created to fly.
When did FEAR capture my heart? possess my thoughts?
Where does FAITH hide when the physical fails?
Is my failing shoulder God’s way of alerting me? Is this His way of pointing to a spiritual need? Am I afraid to reach, stretch out my hand to grasp hold of the dreams and desires and plans He has for me?
Do I draw back, recoil when my heart feels a twinge of pain for the passions He has placed there? Or do I ignore the initial flinching and reach even further, advancing in His purposes, focusing on those He has called me to serve?
I have to admit: I have been flinching way too often and much too long.
It’s much easier to move in my range of comfort, to move my arm only within the painless realm. OR IS IT?
My unwillingness to go to the doctor for months ~~ does this signify my refusal to go to The Great Physician?
Oh the dire straits I find myself in. Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned!
Lord, it is true. I have tried to live a sanitized life, avoid looking at the pain of the world. The things that hurt my heart are the very things that hurt your heart. I have even prayed, “Lord, break my heart for the things that break yours.” Yet, I continue to turn my head with that very onset of pain. It seems too overwhelming to bear.
Lord Jesus, I appreciate more and more your suffering for us, your concern for the ugliness of our hearts, and your sacrifice to free us from the evil we are capable of. Strengthen my heart as you strengthen my shoulder. I want to serve you to the fullest extent of your will for me. I love you with all my heart. Help me to love until –and even when– it hurts! Release me to Fly Free!
A little update: I overcame my fear of physicians, received treatment and I now have nearly full range of motion in my shoulder and minimal pain.