it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.”
I Corinthians 13:4b-5
We hear the statistics. Fifty percent of marriages made in America end in divorce. Did you know that over fifty percent of those divorces are couples who married before the age of twenty-four?
Marriage should come with a warning label: Maturity Required! And, I’m not bashing on youngsters here. There are just as many immature who are over-the-age-of-twenty-four.
Tying the love knot of marriage seems the perfect test tube for triggering all that “Love is NOT”. We soon discover whether — or not — we were ready for this level of commitment.
God is so good to provide us a checklist! Gives us a good reason to read scripture, right? Look at this list of what LOVE IS NOT..
- envious or jealous
- self-seeking or selfish
- keeping track of all the “wrongs”
These seven points are so vital to the success of a relationship. The person who possesses these LOVE NOTS is really demonstrating one thing: They are Number One in their world. You and God are less important.
Let’s not begin by pointing a finger at our mates. That’s way too easy to do!
Instead, we should measure ourselves against this list of vices that we use for self-protection or elevation. Ask God to show you which ones you are prone to possess. It’s vital not just to your marriage, but to your success and happiness.
Grab your journal and write it down. Think about when and why you resort to this method of coping.
Pray and ask God to take you to the root of this problem.
Allow Him to bring to mind, reveal to your heart, the hurt from your past or the presenting problem that creates this stumbling block in your love relationships.
- Write. Pray. Write. Petition Him. He will take what is wrong and make it right.
The bottom line is this: our marriage is only going to be as good as our Love Relationship with God. Our maturity in Christ brings maturity in our marriage, equipping us to be better husbands, better wives, better parents, better friends. We have to love HIM more than anyone or anything else. He is our source of love!
A model for prayer:
Lord Jesus, give me eyes to look deep within my heart, to see what love is not. I confess this sin to you in Jesus Name. Show me the source of this pain or imperfection, the reason I resort to this as a way to cope, to protect myself or elevate myself in relationships.
Now, Lord, I ask you to come into that place, that wound that only You can see and You have shown me. I ask for Your healing. I surrender this to You, Lord. I give you my whole heart.
I ask that Your love and Your Holy Spirit fill up and seal up the empty spaces of my heart, that I am no longer needy in my love relationships; that I can fully experience Your love. May I fully reflect to others what Your love IS! I pray this in Your holy name, Amen.